Here are some things in my life, along with the approximate percentage of nightmares that they contain.

Viz lab: 70%
Art/graphics/design: 50%
Flying airplanes: 50-60%
Listening to music: 40%
Driving in Houston traffic: 30%
Programming: 30%
Sleeping: 20%
Working out: 10%
Church: 10%
Civil Air Patrol: 5-10%

And finally, My Imagination: 90%

Disclaimer: I do not actually hate nightmares. This is more the percentage of each thing that is either 1) terrifying, or 2) Haunts my sleeping and waking hours.

Disclaimer 2: I haven't actually endured a hurricane or other major disaster since joining CAP. So the nightmares might be yet to come!

Also not sure I should rate the church value so low, either it means I am not taking it as seriously as I should be, or it feels like a rather safe place to be despite the fact that they acknowledge that demons and spiritual warfare exist...oh well.

I also noticed that the things that have the highest percentage of nightmarishness are the things that are most imaginative. Maybe that's more a sign that my imagination is full of nightmares than anything else... exercise, Church, and CAP keep me sane!

Howdy all,

Just a little wisdom I have discovered recently that I find worth sharing.

A lot of people tell me I have trouble saying "no" to things. I tend to accumulate more and more responsibility until I reach my breaking point. I think this is fairly common amongst motivated people. Perhaps the stress is unhealthy, but there are a couple of attitudes I can take towards it. I can choose to whine and complain about it, which makes it hard for everyone, or I can buckle down and get it done, pretending I'm actually good at whatever it is, or at least doing my best.

I'm also learning that there are reasons to say no, and there are reasons not to say no. And I'm learning that I'd prefer to be stressed out about things I chose to do, than things I did not choose to do. And I'd rather choose to do things that make my soul shine rather than those that sink it into the depths of the mire. And no matter how difficult those things are, they are always rewarding. Civil Air Patrol is one of those things. I'm thankful that I've been able to stay up until 1am every night the week before the CAP exercise working on planning, rather than playing video games. I wish that my current employment was one of those rewarding and uplifting things too, but I cannot say that it is.

So I guess the lesson is: Say no to the things you don't want to do. But if you are given a responsibility that you must accomplish, even if you don't like it, tackle it with your full effort, so that you will not be accused of procrastinating or wasting time. Plus, it feels better than leaving it to the last minute anyway.

Also, I need to be better at delegating. That's another way to redistribute responsibility.

-- Megan

Epilogue:
It is possible to turn the unrewarding things into rewarding things. I'm not sure exactly how, but just by being diligent and suffering through monotony and boredom and stress. Having hope in the character of people. My employers care about me after all, and this heartens me. Not only are they paying me more this year, but they are paying me more ATTENTION. Which, to me, is more valuable.

... ok so that's not really news but...
I get to fly on Saturday!!
And Sunday!!!

...Lord willin and the creek don't rise, as they say.

Oh, and my friend Lars (& company) just released a game. Y'all should go check it out.
[link]

Try the demo, it's free. And if you like it, you can buy the whole thing

Now I must go to bed. Megan, out.

Please, if you value your fanart and dA, please read this:



"Please Comment and Fave [link] to show your support.

As a protest of #SOPA and #PIPA (The Stop Online Piracy Act and Protect IP Act) two pieces of legislation that are up for debate once again on January 18, 2012, I will be blacked out from all my websites, deviantART included. What does this mean?

"On January 18, between 8am and 8pm EST (or 13:00 and 01:00 UTC), Reddit will be blacking out their website in protest of SOPA and PROTECT IP. We request all website administrators worldwide - and especially those running large user-content websites - to black out their website at the same time, to voice their opposition of SOPA and PROTECT IP. This legislation may very well not only change the future of the internet as a whole, but also change the future of YOUR website. Act against it before it's too late."

This is not just administrators, this is EVERYONE. Take these 12 hours from 8 AM EST to 8 PM EST, and do not use any websites. Now, I may have to use the internet a little bit because of work, but otherwise I will be off. Think about it! They will shut down OCRemix too!!

deviantART's view: "Our view at deviantART regarding SOPA is that it's probably a bad idea. There should be better ways to deal with mass infringement on the Internet than this. This bill in our view can be seen as a threat to the open Internet itself and this is very hard to digest or support."

So... Join us. Black Everything Out. Share this message on Facebook, Twitter, and Every Other Site you have! You can share this quote or make your own: "This account will remain silent on #J18 January 18th, 8am-8pm (EST) as a protest against SOPA/PIPA.

If you could live anywhere from a video game, where would you live?
Assume that it's either like it will be at the end of the game and you've won or that there are no enemies there if you prefer.

I am copying this from *Nakase because I commented... you don't have to comment or post in response to this, because I don't like chain letters, but you can if you want...

Leave me a one word comment that best describes me, using the SECOND letter of your FIRST name. It can only be ONE word. Then copy and paste this to your journal so I can leave a word about you. Or whatever.

This will be quick... but I wanted to say to y'all... I did my first solo flight yesterday!!! It was amazing. I'll write about it a bit later I guess. At work now.

EDIT: In case you didn't see it, I uploaded the story as a deviation [link]

Here's where I will upload photos: ~meganopteryx

I still need to get it connected with my groups that I'm in on this account. Probably more appropriate for them to be on there anyway, since a lot of the groups accept photos more than paintings.

This'll be short, but I wanted to outline how I do critiques and get a few comments.

I've heard several different ways of doing critiques. My friend Lars suggests that you should "sandwich" every piece of criticism in between two pieces of praise. So the first thing you do is say one thing good, one thing bad, then one thing good. This works sometimes, but I prefer a method I learned from some Civil Air Patrol stuff:

1) What they did right
2) What they did wrong
3) What they should work on for next time

Adding in the last element gives the artist a positive direction to proceed.

And the most important rule I find in critiques, but the most time-consuming and tiring one is: Try not to base the critique on personal preference. Base it on effective use of the principles of design. Maybe you don't like that color orange, but did the artist use it effectively to draw the viewer's attention to that place in the image? Maybe you think griffins are AWESOME, so every picture of a griffin you see you're going to praise, but did the artist make an attempt at realistic anatomy, or did they draw the creature in an interesting composition or pose?

I don't always follow the formula I've listed here, sometimes I just say simple remarks like "cool" or "hmm, interesting." Sometimes honestly I'm too tired to give a full critique. But if the artist requests one, especially about a specific topic, I try to comply. I try to find at least one good thing and at least one bad thing about every image. Often, sadly, I just don't even have time to look at every image that hits my inbox. If I see an image that looks like it needs more critique than I have time for, I'll usually just pass it by. Sorry guys. I'll try to be better about it, if you've asked for a critique. You can always message me if you want me to critique something for you

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say about that. Peace!

To all those out there who complain about people "stealing" their art, I just have the following message.

[link]

so basically....




YOUR ART IS NOT ORIGINAL
EVERY ARTIST STEALS (some just do it better than others)
STOP COMPLAINING AND MAKE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL

And yes, I am being over-dramatic with this, but I think the point needed to be made
This message was brought to you by the letter Q.
Features journal will return soon.

Ok, I'm making an exception to this since two people did the featurey thingy. I chose the longer one just in case. But I'll feature both of y'all. Bet you weren't counting on this, were you?

OK GUYS - AMENDMENT: You don't have to post this in your journal yourself, but it is recommended I just want to feature some people, so comment here and I'll pick your art and give you a critique and stuff. Kay?

EDIT again -- sorry it took me so long to get to y'all's features. Next?

------------------------

Comment and I'll feature your art in this journal. But..... each of those whom i featured, needs to do the same journal like this one, featuring me at the start. but if you want me to feature you, you must put a w in your comment, So there you go, now comment and get a place right now!!!


1.)

Three various works: [link] [link] [link]

Favorite Picture: [link] - I like your design of Wepon, he's a really interesting character.

Notes?: I like your interesting creature designs, and your character expressions make me laugh You draw eyes pretty well. You've introduced me to a lot of cool music too Like I said to you, you have a pretty epic imagination.

Critique: Need to do more studies to get a solid understanding of anatomy. Some of the shapes still don't read as having bones or muscle underneath. Practice with basic 3D shapes like spheres and prisms and then add the details on top. The details are looking pretty cool though. You've got a good idea of coloring and lighting. You could probably also improve on the poses, they tend to be a bit static. But doing the underlying skeleton/shapes would help with that too

2.)

Three various works: [link] [link] [link]

Favorite Picture:  [link] - planes!

Notes: You draw a lot of horses. And some blood. And glowyness. And you're in Civil Air Patrol, which is awesome.

Critique: Lots of your pictures look like they're traced, mainly because the poses are all pretty similar. Try to branch out and do more interesting poses, draw from life, work on your linework (such as varying the lineweights, tapering the lines out where the form fades like at the edges of muscles, etc). Where the edges meet is always a very important thing in art, architecture, and engineering. I think your work might also be revolutionized by a bolder approach to lighting. Your shading style is very diffuse, you don't really make sharp-edged shadows. Shadows can really define the form of something, so if you take the leap out there and start drawing those hard edges (even just doing studies from life), it would give new life to the lighting on your works

3.)

Three various works: [link] [link] [link]

Favorite Picture: [link] ok it's not a picture, it's actually a story.

Notes: Muwahaha I found your handwriting meme and you can't stop me from posting it. This is one of my friends from the Stark Industries corporation (now a roleplay). He's got some fiction and some drawings.

Critique: Man, you hardly do any drawing! Draw more!! Your stories are pretty exciting though. Here's someone you might be interested in watching... ~kykywka.  Sorry my critique is lame. It would be less lame if you drew more often

4.)

Three various works: [link] [link] [link]

Favorite Picture: [link] - I really like not only the jewelry but the composition on this photo.

Notes: This is one of my friends from the Viz lab She draws stuff and makes jewelry and stained glass and sculptures.

Critique: Your jewelry and designs are absolutely kickass. I love how you collect feathers and bones and make stuff out of them. Oh also, your stained glass work is AMAZING... I can't wait to find a good place for those sconces. Assuming I didn't give them to my sister as a wedding present >_< ... I was trying not to break them in transport. I think your drawings are not your best work; they are interesting poses and character designs, but usually from the side. You might need to work on the perspective a bit. But your craftsmanship with the jewelry and stuff makes up for it

5.)

Three Various works: [link] [link] [link]

Favorite Picture: [link] - this was the first one I saw of yours, and still my favorite!

Note: Dream Cyberium is pretty cool, has a very imaginative mind and cool art when he chooses to make it. Lately he has tended to get involved in D(A)rama more than is healthy for him though.

Critique: You draw very interesting monsters, very surreal stuff. You like to put checkerboards on things, which is pretty unique and strange, not a very natural pattern. But a pretty cool style. I really liked the cloud painting thing you had going there, you need to do some more digital paintings like that and work on your backgrounds. Maybe also work on your perspective drawing, lots of your works are kinda flat. Maybe try drawing some more complex or natural patterns on your creatures too.


6.)

Three Various Works: [link] [link] [link]

Favorite Picture: [link] -- this is still my favorite story. But now that I'm reading all yours, a lot of them would probably be favorite.

Note: She writes a lot, and has some cool photography.

Critique: Your writing is severely awesome. Well, ok, it varies in quality actually. But your work ranges all the way from pretty cool to severely awesome. I also like your photography, I could see some of that stuff selling as stock images on iStockPhoto. As for your writing, it tends to be somehow futuristic, intimate, and meaningful all at the same time.

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You know, I really used to be nostalgic. I would pine after memories of places and people long left behind in space and time. Now it seems I care very little about my past. Have I lost my childhood? Nah, I think I've found it, and I don't have to keep searching anymore. I don't have to try so hard to remember, to try and recapture that essence, because it is present in my life. Everything is new. Everything is alive. I live fully in the present and it is glorious. The present is where they say God is, and I think they are right. There is adventure and discovery here, around every corner. I have found what I always wanted: camaraderie, adventure, purpose, challenge. I don't have to escape anymore, because my life is what I feel like it should be, and astonishingly I have found it in the real world, without having to escape to games as I have always done. I appreciate every moment. I don't even care about my old dreams... I don't let them haunt me. I'm too busy fulfilling the dreams that matter.

It's like I was trying and trying to get to where I am, trying to stay on course even though I couldn't see where I was going. And suddenly I have looked up and realized that I am above the clouds now, the dreary land is far below and in the past. Onward and upward. Time to enjoy life and rise to the challenges set before me. The sky IS the limit! I'm still not who I want to be entirely, but I'm getting there

Why am I sharing this? I struggled with my identity for the longest time. I will probably still struggle in the future. But for everyone involved in that struggle, just know that this state of being does exist: the problem can be resolved. You can find what you are truly meant to be, without having to make compromises. Don't compromise on things that are essential to you. And keep moving towards where you want to be. Keep changing towards the "you" that you are most happy with. Never do things you would be ashamed of in the future. Always give your best effort to everything you set your will to. Then you know you are being everything you can be. And if you don't like what you were in the past or what you are right now, know that you have the ability to change, that you don't have to be stuck in bad habits that prevent you from progressing. With God, all things are possible.

And don't give up if you are struggling with your identity. Without that struggle, without that constant striving, I would not be the way I am today. Ah, what is life without challenge? Boring, am I right?

So, I have found a job now. I work for a company in Houston called Bouncing Pixel. And learning Actionscript 3! Life is always an adventure. I'm still learning how to fly airplanes too, and maybe now I'll have more money to do that

I don't think I will have as much time to comment/view art, except maybe on the weekends and at night. But I might be doing more art on my own now, since I'm officially a programmer. I plan to be working on that Philogenetics project more and more. Maybe I'll actually get a good webpage set up for it.

Just a list. Let's see...

[link] - Clouds Online

[link] - Skyvector

[link] - Cocktail Party Physics

... Can you tell I'm a super-nerd?

I'll keep adding to this list over time, methinks. These are websites I check frequently. The skyvector site mainly for the visual METAR data that they make SO easy to access. I don't know why it's so hard on other map sites, can anyone give me a clue?

Ideas, please! I might draw them. Gimme your best shot!

An FCC Approved Device
If you've ever played gameboy, or perhaps any other handheld gaming device, you may notice a sticker/writing on the back that says "This device complies with part 15 of the FCC rules. Operation is subject to the following two conditions: (1) this device may not cause harmful interference, and (2) this device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation."

The first one means don't criticize, don't cause others to have trouble or be an obstacle to their success. The second means to accept criticism, distraction, annoyance, injury, whatever, without retaliation, even if it does cause you harm or pain. Strive to do your best to serve others even with distraction or injury. While not everyone may accept this last part, it's a Christian principle that I am going to try to live by.

I think these rules would keep me from being claustrophobic, critical, annoying, foolish, angry, impatient, bossy, and perfectionistic. By failing to follow these rules, I have lashed out, hated myself and others, and destroyed friendships. These rules help devices "play nice" with others, and maybe they can help me play nice with others too. I've actually come a long ways in following this since I was exposed to the idea several years ago. I guess it's best expressed by the proverb "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I used to scoff at this, but I've since realized the truth of it.

And sure, rules aren't the determination of a good human being. Love is. But this is how to be loving. The concept of love is simple, but to put it into practice is difficult, especially in loving one's enemies. As for me, I need a method. Mainly I've learned that it's more important to have good character than to have knowledge or any particular career. Your goodness as a person is not determined by your job or income level, but by how you treat your fellow human beings.

Sharp of Eye, Cool of Mind
To strive for excellence, be observant and rational. In stressful times, to be calm and resolute, but not lethargic: to be awake and aware. Constant vigilance. I've learned this from several places, first in Kendo, then in Church, and now again in CAP. It's the warrior's attitude. The enemy can strike at any moment, but if you freak out, you will be lost. When an attack or trial comes, you must be prepared for it and keep your calm. Then you will be able to think and act swiftly with wisdom and not hastily with foolishness.

Conclusion
I feel lately that the first goal conflicts with the latter one. To accept interference means to accept imperfection, right? But striving for excellence means correction and perfectionism, right? Well, I think there's a balance here too. The key is to correct and perfect oneSELF, not others. Most of the time others will not heed correction, and it will damage them instead of being useful. But you can usually tell when that's the case. I try only to correct people in a loving way, if I must. Of course, if you see someone doing something harmful to themselves, you must TRY to correct them, but there are ways to do it and ways not to, which I am not familiar with yet. So I think it's best, until I am truly wise, just to keep my mouth shut. (I probably have a giant plank in my eye, as the parable goes.)

Also, in accepting interference and distraction, I've felt like I've become complacent. Maybe it's good to know one's own limits, but one should always strive to push those limits further. I think I'm becoming stupider. The lesson for me, I guess, is to take the desire for perfection and apply it to myself rather than to others, but not to lose the zeal that I started with. Evil is just Good misused.

There are other things I strive to be, but these are the ones I thought of today. Thanks for listening What do you think?

For great justice. I edited this.

COMMENT AND I'LL TELL YOU...

1. My first memory of you.
2. A color you remind me of.
3. A song you remind me of.
4. An animal you remind me of.
5. A type of object that I identify with you.
6. One thing I like about you.
7. Your new weird nickname that I just made up.
8. One thing I've always wondered about you. Your answer must be vague in order to keep it mysterious

I'm done!

Well... stick a fork in the thesis maybe.

Ok, TECHNICALLY it's not done yet. But I'm about done with it. In my mind, it is finished. Soon, reality will catch up. Just got some formatting stuff and then adding the images and all that good stuff. YAY!

Thesis defense on the 11th, Viz Lab 4th floor Studio A 2pm!
If you live in CS and can come, be there! It's Veteran's Day too. A Good Day for Defense. Or so they say. (The veterans, that is!) (And I know more than a few, now that I'm in CAP )

Now I get to work on... WEBSITES!!! And make MONEY!!!! And maybe not be in DEBT!!! YAY!!!
I'm feeling super-chill right now. Everything is gonna be just fine. The sky is opening up before me.

OH also I might be adding to this journal soon. SO! Be prepared...

EDIT.
D: D: D:
WHY IS WRITING SO DARN HARD. I don't know why I hate writing so much.
Well it's like one day I'm trucking along and like "yeah! Everything works!" the next, as soon as I sit down, I want to do something else. Writer's block, I guess. Or something. [link]

End edit -----------------------------------------

GLORIOUS MATHS for when you are sick of art: [link]

Also, why is it that if a GIANT PLANE is flying right above me, I can hear it, but not see it? FAIL x_x... they tend to be the same brightness as the sky somehow. Does this ever happen to you?

Gotta keep on moving!

Thesis: In progress. ~70% Working on formatting. LaTeX.
Game: NEW VERSION UP... FIRST RELEASE! WOOHOO! [link] Need to put more detail up there though. But still, check it out!
Finding a job: EA and a few other contacts have already hit me up for employment opportunities. The EA university relations person called me up a couple days ago and asked for my resume so that's cool. But not sure I want to work there because I want to work on my own games. But first, I have to have money. Speaking of which...
People's websites: Gearing up for it. I now have professional web design rates, since I'm basically a professional at it. $75 per hour for design, $50 per hour for maintenance. If you want a website, let me know   
Painting for sister: I need to remember to do this. I owe her this present painting for her wedding which was in July 0_o
Paper Dragon: Still on hold ~15% ... the project keeps getting more ambitious. It's my lifelong work I guess

Positive numbers!
I presented my thesis today at the Viz symposium and I finished ON TIME in 2 minutes 45 seconds! And people thought my game was awesome and they want to play it. Terrific validation for all my hard work. And I got paid for my web design stuff!
Annnndd.... I get to go flying on Saturday! except... I forgot I was going to go to the air show that day ............. eh... oh well! Why just watch planes when you can fly in one? Also, in our CAP meeting today, they were saying that everyone who flies in the planes should at least be trained to land just in case. So maybe I can learn to land a plane soon too!